FFAC 2024 Precap: Per Aspera Ad Astra
Life. Love. Pain. Suffering. Joy. Excitement. Disappointment. Pride. Embarrassment. Victory. Defeat. Verbs. Nouns. Adjectives.
The all new 2024 Nissan Rogue.
That’s what stupid ass car commercials are like. Ridiculous and self important. It’s a goddamn vehicle to move you from point a to b, just make it fun.
Not Fantasy Football. Not FFAC. This shit is serious business. Instead of empty promises of consistent recaps and podcast episodes, 2024 brings something fresh - reality. The reality that football season is yet again upon us. Unrelenting. The same, but not. Hope of what might be. What can be. A stamp that closes the chapter on the past season, and signifies the beginning of the next. The first step isn’t the step itself, but the decision to take it.
Bro what is Danny yapping about, let’s get to it! Look at this 2 time champion over here.
Welcome to the 2024 FFAC Season
We welcome a new member, Alex, and bid adieu to ex champion, Cody. Dude gets married and tells us to kick rocks. Adam would NEVER. Alas, draft day has come and gone, and week 1 is upon us. Welcome back, everyone.
You know what time it is, CRAZY WILD UNSUBSTANTIATED SEASON PREDICTIONS TIME BAYBEEEEEEE
It’s our very first season actually implementing and feeling the effects of Keepers for the first time in league history. Yahoo let us designate who our keepers were but omitted them from draft grades. Those grades are usually dookie but this time you really can’t take them seriously, I don’t think. The value many of us are getting in ridiculous rounds well past player ADP is going to make for a fun ride. It already made the draft more interesting. Who knows what’s to come?
I do. You don’t trust me to be your commissioner because I’m the strongest. Fireball is. You don’t trust me because I’m the smartest. Ben is. You trust me because I know where to go. Hic sunt leones.
Comeback Player of the Year
Pat
A 2-12 disastrous rookie season really made Pat the butt of the jokes at the draft, but as the only team to not keep a single player, things can only go up from here. Right?
Worst Team
Mike
It be your own blood, eh brother? Now, in his defense, it seems like Josh whom you sent in your place to draft for you didn’t understand your ranking sheets (or so you say) but some truly baffling picks doesn’t give confidence. Prove us wrong.
Rookie of the Year
Alex
Alex will be our rookie of the year. He’s the only rookie this year.
Best Team Name
Stefy’s Boys (Zach)
This WAS going to go to Lisan al Caleb (Fireball) because, obviously I’m drinking the kool-aid on the new NFL GOAT. But Zach going full troll and using Stefan’s picture with the trophy is too good. Well done, Zach. Also a nice homage for trusting him with your draft. Honorable mentions to Spenneth Walker & Kamara Harrison - 2024.
CHAMPION
Jay
This is the year, Jay. He leaves us for the big apple (booooo) but as a result, he’ll get to celebrate a championship. All by his lonesome, of course, but it’s lonely at the top. Jay finally get’s his name on the trophy. Or does he?
The rest of you? Become the lion at the head of an army of sheep. Idk what that means. I put money on the Lions winning the Super Bowl this season so lions are on my mind I guess. Sorry if that curses your team, Ryan.
Also, this season brings you RIVALRY WEEKS. Instead of letting you jabronis decide, I used math (and mostly a yahoo randomizer). Rivalry weeks are Weeks 2 & 11. Your rivals are your rivals. Go see who you match up against because it’s the same matchup both of those weeks.
Week 1 Preview
Ben (-.9) v Mike
Danny S (-9.3) v Pat
Adam (-1.3) v Jay
Fireball (+3.2) v Ryan
Alex (+107.77 - what the hell set your lineup) v Zach
Commish (-2.4) v Stefan
It’s time, boys. I got Ben, Danny S, Jay, Ryan, Zach, & Myself this week. I WAS going to give $50 at the end of the season to the best League Pick ‘Em manager but Yahoo killed that feature, for some reason…I’ll think of something else.
GENTLEMEN. PER ASPERA AD ASTRA
- Danny “aka LATINERD aka Space Odyssey aka Commish” M
